Your Unstated Goals

“Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets.”
— W. Edwards Deming

You are hitting goals right now.
It just might not be the goals you’ve written down.

Last week, I led a goal-setting workshop with a group of agents where I shared the distinction between stated goals and unstated goals.

1. Stated goals

These are the things you say you want. You write them down. You make plans to hit them.

• I want to make six figures
• I want to sell 26 properties
• I want to get 3,000 followers

2. Unstated goals

These are the things you actually want, often more than your stated goals, but they go unspoken. And because they go unspoken, they often sabotage the goals you say you want.

• I want to avoid rejection and feel safe
• I want to hold on to an identity shaped by past wounds
• I want to stay in control and avoid uncertainty

All of us have unstated goals.

And here’s the problem.

They are incredibly powerful when they operate outside of your awareness.

If your unstated goal is safety, your actions will protect you from discomfort.
If your unstated goal is control, your actions will avoid risk.
If your unstated goal is preserving an identity, your actions will resist growth.

Those unspoken goals often become the very things that keep us from hitting

our spoken goals.

The real question is not whether you have unstated goals.
It’s whether you know what they are.

You might say you want to grow by 25%.
But what is the unstated goal for (perhaps) safety, or acceptance, or comfort that is quietly keeping you from doing the things required to get there?

When you bring those unstated goals into the light and you honestly name the ways you may be pursuing those goals, you feel incredibly empowered.

You stop fighting yourself.

You feel more aligned.
You feel more grounded.
You feel more free.

And only then can you make intentional decisions to choose otherwise.

Start with curiosity by asking yourself three questions.

1. What discomfort am I consistently avoiding?
   Look at the actions you delay, rationalize, or over-prepare for.
   Avoidance is often a clue pointing directly to an unstated goal.
2. What does my current behavior protect me from?
   Every pattern protects something. Rejection. Failure. Loss of control. Losing an identity that once kept you safe.
3. If I keep doing this, what outcome am I actually choosing?
   This removes intention and looks at trajectory.

It all starts with curiosity about yourself. Leave the condemning self-talk out.

Admittedly, this kind of work is hard to do on your own. I have a coach myself for reasons just like this.

As a coach, this is the identity and beliefs work I help agents do so they can not only hit their goals, but blow past them. 

The result is not just business growth. It’s personal growth. Confidence. Alignment. Peace. And a business that finally feels honest and freeing.

If you’d like to have a conversation about how coaching can help you hit your stated goals this year, I’d love to connect. Simply reply and we’ll schedule a time. 

Stay curious,

Chris